Two Years: How I See It

If you are like me, and have hit the two year mark in any company and pretty sure you would be sharing my views in the following lines.Or maybe you would be that rich baba and baby of rich parent, who shit money and whom Samsung Galaxy S3 has so kindly given the tag of "humans" (remember designed for humans) relegating us to the lowly subhumans using Blackberries and Samsung low end phones. So here goes, for whosoever is concerned.

Note : Long Post ahead. 

The first thing that hits you when you think about your two years old in your company is How remarkably fast,time has passed. I mean i know 90% of my friend list are like the next Einstien and know everything about the so called God particle. And i know everyone would scream how that time moving fast is a physical improbability. But i swear, tell that to us hapless souls who have been jilted so throughly by the last two years that you might just get a slap across your face. I mean,really, the transition from slightly large boy with a cute face to so obviously fat it hurts your eyes has been so seamless and almost timeless, that you begin to wonder that there is some other wordly force in action. I mean anyone who has not gained weight in two years of service, is quite obviously an anomaly. 

The next thing that would obviously be on your mind is how pathetically bitter we all have become. I mean , yes , in college we all had obnoxious people to deal with. Like we have now. But somehow we have all had enough of obnoxious people. Somehow, we all feel that we have reached a stage of life, where you are not mature enough , if you have not tweeted/update a facebook status with a #FML(Fuck My Life, for noobs) tag. Somehow , the elastic band of mental take-in has been streched beyond repair. 

The third thing that strikes you , are the marriages. All around. I mean it is almost as if all your friends are on mission. To prove to you that somehow marriages are the next "I am going to buy a PlayStation". I mean dont get me wrong , I would love to be get married with someone special and broadcast to the whole world the same. But really I have had months where 10 friends get married. And that is almost unbearable. What with the incessant photos and "The best looking bride/groom ever" comments that follow.

We can never ever over look the managers in any walk of life. And in these two years, we have all had managers who make Kancha of Agneepath fame (sorry for  the bollywood ref but just going with flow) look like a innocent kid who just had a lolipop stolen from him. I mean some of them are so unbearable , that you begin to believe that somehow the whole world is conspiring to make you tweet "#FML" at least once a week.

Also , as you grow older with the two years spent, you tend to realise the Myth that is "TGIF(thank god its friday). I mean yes occasionally you would have a great Friday. Where you would return home early , and log into Facebook and post really sick "#FMLs" on status updates. But most of other Fridays you would return home late  , and log into Facebook and post really sick "#FMLs" on status updates. 

Moreover, as the two years get over, you are suddenly faced with the fact that you are now almost as ancient as Dinosaurs. Or Lal Krushna Advani. Because you still are tweeting/talking about Music, Movies and Series when all the world around you is talking about biking(kazim :wink wink nudge), fashion photography(too many to wink and nudge) ,aesthetic photography(i am officially out of winks and nudges) and what nots. And all you can say is "Wow! #FML". And, also you would have that one friend who has seen and read Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris and now is an aggressive Atheist, whose only motto in life is to join Religious/Semi Religious groups, barge them with their secular views and get kicked out of these groups.(you all know who i am talking about here. eh piyush)

Then again, you would also have certain people who seem so ancient with their views you almost feel as young as Shahid Afridi. I mean there always would be Shiv Sainiks of the institute you studied in , who would abuse you beyond all limits of decency that age brings. Just to prove a point , the opposite of which is almost moot. I mean how does "What if you had a fight with your father, would you go out and abuse him?"(dosed with amounts of expletives that are normally used by jackie shroff when he does a polio ad. you know the mausi thing.) a reasonable reply to someone who quite frankly got all his points about the Institute spot on, i would not know. 

Overall, all of us would be clueless as to what is happening with our lives. And would have no idea where we are going with our lives. Would be hating our managers. Would have deleted Facebook accounts or comtemplating doing so or would have deleted and reinstated the accounts so many times that instead of the login screen , it just shows "Do you want to delete your account?" . 

Unless you have just got selected in MBA colleges. Then you would have no time to think about all of this. You would probably be doing your assignments now. With no time to read this. And would probably be waiting for another 3-4 year , when you can tweet , update #FML statuses without having a TLDR (too long dint read) notes to worry about.

P.S. Cheers people. Life is not all gloomy. Remember we still have things like the Jackie Shroff polio retake ad to make us believe that we were born for a reason. Ab chal Maushi Chi ****. Sleep on that.